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An Empty Page

I am nothing without you
I am not ashamed to say
But sometimes still I doubt you along my way
I am nothing without you
An eagle with no wings
If I forget about you, I lose everything
My heart is an empty stage
O let your play begin
My life is an empty page for you to colour me with your love

It’s such a common feeling to be misunderstood
But from you there’s no concealing
You know my bad and good
So I am not pretending my story never fails
But I have already read the ending
And your love prevails
My heart is an empty stage
Let your play begin
My life is an empty page for you to colour me with your love

The words are from Jonathan Veira’s song Empty Page. One of the tracks off ‘Rhythms of the Heart’ album. I like his music, and especially this song. Sadly, I couldn’t find the lyrics online, so I had to write them down word for word. I have had this song for many years and it has always spoken me at many levels. It has often driven me to tears of joy when I listen to it. I think it resonates with me because the song always brings to my mind two crucial realities.

On the one hand the song, the speaks of a painful reality of fragility and sinfulness. I am fragile because I am nothing without God. Without God in my life, I am nothing but a cosmic joke. Nothing more than an eagle that has lost its wings or its purpose for living. It may look okay from afar, but look closely and you will it that it cannot get off the ground without the missing wings! The sinfulness is that I am actually prone to forget this important truth. I often doubt God and His purpose in my life and what He is doing in this fallen world.

Then comes the overwhelming reassurance! The song throughout reminds me that it really does not depend on me. God comes to me like an open book. From Him "there’s no concealing". His love really is real love without holding back. He is not hiding some ulterior motive from me. But even more amazing is that He already "know[s] my bad and good”. So, I don’t have to pretend to be anything with Jesus. I don’t have to worry about being misunderstood. He knows me inside out. He knows that my story is one of failure!

In the end what matters t is that His love for me never fails! And because Jesus is a God who loves persistently, the end truly has been written. In the end I will live and reign with Him, so I can live in the here and now resting totally on His performance, and not mine! But it's more than that. You see because I am connected to this Jesus, my life is now a blank page for Him to showcase his creative power. God has made me a new blank page in Jesus and he is colouring it with His love. In some weird way, it seems, God is even using my failures to paint a picture of grace and love in my life.

Perhaps this is what Paul had in mind when he told the church at Ephesus, "For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" [Ephesians 2:10]. God has created me afresh in Jesus to be a colourful work of art, a masterpiece,  where his love and grace shines through. There is truly no God like the Lord Jesus Christ, who delights in coming into the lives of failures and colours them into a masterpiece of  art!

Copyright © Chola Mukanga 2015

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