Lost Pages

I have just finished reading ' Dataclysm ' by Christian Rudder. It has the interesting subtitle ' Who we are when we think no one is looking'. The book has some interesting reflections on what online data (drawn largely from the online dating data of OkCupid) reveals about our nature. Here is one quote that struck me : It is no longer socially acceptable to be openly racist. In response to that pressure, there is some portion of the public who have therefore slunk away: if I can't shout hate at some schoolchildren anymore, well, fine, I'll just shout it at the TV. This is not the typical American. Most of us—almost all, in fact—recognize that racism is wrong. But it is still implicit in many of the decisions we make . Psychologists have a name for the interior patterns of belief that help a person organize information as he encounters it: schema . And our schema is still out of step with how most of us know the world should be. By hundreds of small, everyda...

Travis Bradberry gives six things having the phone with you in a meeting communicates about you:  1. Lack of respect. It says you consider your phone to be more important than the conversation or topic at hand.  2. Lack of attention. It communicates that you are unable to stay focused on one thing at a time. 3. Lack of listening. You are not practicing active listening when you are with your phone. So no one around you feels heard.  4. Lack of power. You are like a modern-day Pavlovian dog who responds to the whims of others through the buzz of your phone.  5. Lack of self-awareness.  You don't understand how ridiculous your behavior looks to other people.  6. Lack of social awareness. You don't understand how your behavior affects those around you. From an article written by Travis Bradberry ( Linkedin Pulse ). Apparently researchers conducted a USA nationwide survey of 554 full-time working professionals earning above $30K and wor...

1. Understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism . You need to learn how to interpret criticism. Is it positive criticism to build you up or negative to tear you down? Someone once said that constructive criticism is when I criticise you; destructive criticism is when you criticise me. 2. Don’t take yourself too seriously . If you can develop the ability to laugh at yourself, you will be much more relaxed when given or giving criticism. We all do some stupid and silly things. Blessed is he who can enjoy his blunders. We are approved by God; we don’t have to win the approval of others and look good in their eyes. We are not perfect people. Too many of us take ourselves too seriously and God not seriously enough.  

I came across the Beevers Grid in my recent reading of Practising Affirmation by Sam Crabtree, during his discussion of the question, "when is an issue important enough to correct?" It is usually that case that I often find myself in situations where correction is needed. I imagine we all do. For me working as an economist, correcting others is actually an active part of the job. As a writer, I also find myself engaging in debates on national issues where again I usually have to offer an opinion. In church, as part of the leadership, "correction" is one of the tasks of church leadership. They say timing and judgement is everything. And when it comes to correction, I just never know when it is the right time or situation to correct someone. Sometimes, I correct merely to  magnify my own ego. Other times people have found it is useful and productive. It was therefore a great joy to come across the Beever's Grid. A surprisingly straightforward framework of when t...

Michael Sedler’s “When to Speak Up and When To Shut Up” aims to do exactly what it says on the tin - to offer guidance on when to speak or shut up. The tongue plays a critical role in our lives, as Sedler notes, "because of a misuse of the spoken word, destinies have been derailed, disunity has replaced unity, nations have been destroyed" . By the same token, "silence can bring pain, destruction and the inevitable onslaught of sin. Or it can allow the time for God's healing power to work in a life" . Judging when to speak or keep quite is therefore very important.