Flesh in the Mirror

I was blaming Satan and the world for my spiritual state of health,

Until I checked out flesh in the mirror and spelt “S.E.L.F”
as the prime suspect and culprit.

Preaching from the highest pulpit
but in the prayer room I’m claustrophobic.

I know its deep,

I know I’m weak,

You know me forever gossiping

But when its time for witnessing, I’m slow to speak.

When its time to pray, I go to sleep.

Time to fast, I go and eat.

Time to stand and praise,

I’d rather hold a seat.

Back row, act low, hoping nobody notice me

Because it ain’t hard to see I’m not what I’m supposed to be.

But I don’t want to hear no lecture

Because all I’ve got is peer pressure messing with my head like a hair dresser

Its stressing me out!

Doubt and fear had me in Trafalgar Square nearly drowning in beer.

Loud and clear I need to change, but I didn’t know how

Thinking “maybe they’d be safety in the marital vows.”

Thought that I could make a fresh start

All I did was break a fresh heart.

We are like vampires when it gets dark.

My problems need to be solved

And I’d be just a fool to get another involved.

I need to make a resolve.

Either be HOT or be COLD.

Revelation 3:16 has got to be told:

"Lukewarmness is going to be puked from the Lord’s mouth"

I read the chapter and knew I had to choose now.

My head bowed as mad tears fell to the ground

Thinking of days when I was proud to be called God’s child.

Now its all wild!

I’ve been living foul.

I want to turn around and live a lifestyle to make Christ smile.

For too long I’ve been missing my place,

Dissing His grace

And every time I sin it’s like I spit in his face.

Time for living by faith,

Time for giving Him praise,

Time to fall prostrate on my face

No time to waste and sing: Lord, hear me please?

Renew a right spirit within me.

Lord clean my heart, make me whole, cover me.

Lord, don’t even leave,

Won’t you please have mercy on me?

Heal my mind, set me free, Father I turn to you

These amazing lyrics are from Jahaziel's 2007 debut album Ready to Live. The song is called Father InTurn To You (song embedded below). It is one of the best confession of lukewarm living and our ever present need to rely on God's transformational grace. I always go and listen to it to remind myself that half hearted discipleship is no discipleship at all.  God calls us to total reliance and obedience to Him.

Sadly, Jahaziel earlier this year announced that he was walking away from Jesus. To borrow from the words of his song above he has chosen to diss God's grace and spit in His face. In a strange way it amplifies the sober nature of the above lyrics. As the writer to the Hebrews warns :

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end (Hebrews 3:12-14).

Copyright © Chola Mukanga 2016