I want a faith that can fully credit contradictions, and that can prove the darkest night to be perfectly light, and the greatest of trials to be perfectly right, and to be evidences of unbounded love. Yea, I want a faith that can fully rely upon a promise with a rational prospect of the promise being fulfilled...I thirst, pant and groan, for the faith of which Christ is the Author and Finisher.
William Gadsby was a 19th Century Particular Baptist who experienced acute sufferings in his home life which exerted a heavy burden on his faith and ministry. He ministered for 25 years while nursing his wife, who suffered with acute mental illness.
Gadsby died before his wife did and before she gave most encouraging signs of not having lost the faith she embraced as a girl, the faith Gadsby had been so confident that the Lord would preserve in her.
The strain for him, though, was at times unbearable, as her illness led her to erratic and destructive behaviour, including attacking her husband and burning his letters and sermons notes. In all his anguish, Gadsby was determined not just to preach his Master but to trust him, and to trust him more deeply, the deeper the trials. As the quote above reveals.